Listening and Acknowledging Feelings

This morning there was a two-hour school delay; therefore, I was already busy at work on the computer in our office when my daughter came down to the kitchen to eat breakfast and pack her lunch. She appeared at the doorway of the office and said, "Mom, can you come to the kitchen so we can talk?" then quickly retreated back to the kitchen.

Her words did not contain overt urgency, nor did she mention the desired subject matter. For all I knew, she just wanted help packing her lunch. For a few seconds my attention turned back to my computer, but her words, "so we can talk" echoed in my mind. She was back in the kitchen, quiet. But her simple request was akin to when she was a toddler, holding her arms upward toward me and saying, "Hold you." She needed me. And when your teen requests you, no matter how that request is disguised, I'm learning to take advantage of it...despite any inconvenience on my part.

My stuff could wait. My girl wanted to talk.

No sooner had I walked into the kitchen than my girl spilled out all sorts of information, ultimately revealing her heart over a matter at school. The matter could be reduced to the phrase, "girl drama," but that would not capture all that happened in those precious moments. In a sense, she was asking for my advice, which in the end I gave her. First, however, I listened and acknowledged her feelings. Listening...what a complicated art form. Through God's grace, He is teaching me to listen as if these things, which are so small in perspective to adult concerns, are the only things that matter. Because to her, they are.

Mama bear wanted to interject with, "Just forget about him! Just ignore him!" or to the other issues, "It will all work itself out." Instead, I said with sincerity, "I'm so sorry he said that to you. It never feels good to be made fun of" and "I bet you are confused about what to do with your friend. Have you talked to God about it?" Those kinds of responses evoked tears, created a willing reception of advice, and encouraged future invitations into her world. Ultimately, it also allowed me to gently turn my teen toward her Heavenly Father, who handles the "listening and acknowledging feelings" thing perfectly. And His Word of advice also happens to be the best around.

Grace and Truth,
Katrina